Tag Archive: trust


Orgasms and Trust

I wanted to bring up this topic to see if it happens to any other women (regardless of power orientation). While playing with D (my play partner) a few weeks ago, the oddest thing happened to me. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the first time it happened.

D had my arms restrained behind my back and he ordered me to the floor. He had me kneeling so that the Hitachi magic wand was lying on the floor and vibrating strongly against my clit. He was standing behind me and intensely flogging and caning my backside. After a few minutes, he walked around me to face my front where he could flog, cane, and slap my breasts. It didn’t take long before I was on the brink of an overwhelming orgasm. After asking permission, I had one of the most powerful orgasms I can remember. It was absolutely wonderful! Until a few minutes later…after my body relaxed I was left feeling a little more lightheaded than usual. It passed quickly before I could even tell him about it, but this experience left me feeling more vulnerable than I ever had before during BDSM play. It really hit me how bondage makes me completely dependent. I feel that this experience has also helped strengthen my trust in my play partner. Even though he laughs sadistically when I cry from the pain inflicted by his cane, I know I can trust him and somewhere in there, there’s a kind and caring person : )

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Squirting

I’m looking for advice on female ejaculation, AKA squirting. I’ve read different responses from difference sources. Some say every woman has the ability to ejaculate, while others say some women simply cannot. I’ve only squirted twice, and both times were accidents, as if I didn’t know what was happening until after it happened. I’ll try to explain the reasoning behind my recent interest in squirting.

As I’ve said before, I’ve always been more attracted to the physical side of BDSM, rather than the emotional side of it. Recently that has been changing a little for me. I’ve never been interested in humiliation play because I find its effects to be too extreme for me. I’m easily embarrassed and humiliated, especially during play when I feel quite vulnerable. I’ve discovered that the reason I love gags is because some prevent swallowing and I’m so turned on by the embarrassment of drooling. Trust doesn’t come easy for me and I’m a very private person, so I fantasize about acts that give me no choice by to reveal all of me to my partner and result in me trusting him completely. I’ve gotten a little off topic…my real question is does anyone have any experience with good G-spot toys that aid in this process?

Submission

I think it’s important to discuss submission and dominance since it is a large part of the lifestyle for me. Aspects of my personality are submissive all the time, even in my every day life. I am easy going and I typically avoid confrontation whenever possible, however, I am an independent woman and I know what I want. The submissive personality of a sub should never be confused with weakness.  I’ve read blogs of other subs who enjoy submitting to Dominant men during play, but the sub actually “wears the pants” in the every day function of their relationship. The dynamics of a relationship always vary and I think it’s interesting to see the large range of submission and dominance experienced by different subs.

I’ve found my submission varies depending on the situation and the Dom’s actions. The first two Doms I was with were not very dominant, so I wasn’t very submissive. I found ways to manipulate each one and I absolutely hated feeling like I was in control. My current Dom is a little different though. I haven’t found a way to manipulate him, which results in me being more submissive. Even when I wiggle around and cry about the pain, he encourages me to suffer for him before letting up. It’s pretty much wonderful.

There are certainly some days when submission does not come as easily. Long days at work or a stressful week of classes leaves me irritable and not in the mood to allow someone to control me. I try not to let my outside life affect playing, but it can be difficult to separate the two. Even when things seem to be going perfectly, sometimes I struggle with being as submissive as I would like. I’ve always fantasized of a relationship in which I could give a Dom complete and total control over my entire life. Just to try out my fantasy, I recently found a Dom (through a common BDSM personals site) who was into 24/7 total power exchange. We talked nearly every day for quite a few weeks, but it just didn’t work out. On my part, there was too much resistance to his control because I didn’t know him well enough to fully trust him. Unfortunately, I have some issues with trust and it often seems to get in the way of my submission. Especially with total power exchange, I wonder how a sub can be completely submissive without losing sight of herself as a person? Someday, with the right Dom, I would love to try it again.

I recently read an article written by an experience Dom who explained a woman’s submission to him as a gift. I hope every Dom truly appreciates his or her sub’s submission.